In Need of a Soul Vacation

I feel sad, angry, discontentment, hate; all growing within me. How did I let this demon grow inside me. I can't contain it anymore. I hate going on trips especially this one trip called guilt trip. I know it's my fault and I'm sorry, do you have to keep reminding me? There are some things that I can do and can't do. I can't make everyone happy while making myself sad. Do you think I should choose that option? Please, don't torture my sanity anymore.

Don't force me to do stuff I don't want to. It's provoking my insanity to take over. I'm trying everything I could just to stay sane. Would it take up so much of your time to just think about my feelings before you speak or even make a decision? Complying to your wishes will make you very happy but would you be happy to know that I'm upset? Or maybe it doesn't work that way. You don't even care.

Would it kill you to just listen to what I have to say? Why should I listen to you if there's no one listening to me at all? Why should I take all this crap from you?

Don't make use of my gullibleness for your own pleasure.Don't make use of my patience for your own satisfaction. I can't take those anymore. I'm not so strong-willed as I may look and I may break down one of these days. It really takes up alot in me trying to make everyone happy, but why is it that I'm always at the losing end. Don't say 'you should', 'you should have', 'you could have', 'you must'; I know all of that....please, I don't want to hear them.

Reigniting the flame?

Ah... Perth, Australia. Going back there feels weird as though it's like going back to my second home. Come to think of it, it was. Going back to Uni feels even weirder. The same ol' route I'd used to take going to boring lectures and tutorials. Now I'm here just to take my graduation picture... wahahahha.. in your face! I don't need to take Transperth no.72,77 and no more seeing Curtin anymore! I'm not going to cry over my bloody assignments and stupid tutorial work anymore!

I was lining up in the queue waiting to get my regalia when I suddenly noticed a familiar face in front of me standing at the counter. JOSH!! ARGH!! My super cute tutor with a super cute voice and with a super cute way of talking. *imaginary frantic hand waving*
How I'd forced myself out of bed just to attend his tutorial at 8 in the morning.....

Should I say hi? Should I say, " Hey! It's me, Sherli! Remember?" and cry silently in a corner afterwards if he had totally forgotten about my puny existence.Thousand of options button came popping up in my mind.Which one should I choose? Can I close my eyes and just throw a dagger to choose one? What should I do?! What should I do?!

Blast it! My existence could not even compare to that of an ant. He stared blankly into my face as he walked past me. Not even a little hint of recognition, Josh? Me, in your class? Oh! The hurt! The pain! The agony! So long Josh. *sniff sniff* I've decided to wipe you off my past. MUAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!
Not that I'd actually remembered you until I saw your face. SSSssshhhhhhhh!!